My Dad is Chinese and my mom is from the remote parts of Umuahia, Abia State. I’m Nigerian by nationality or citizenship, I don’t really know or care, I’m more Nigerian than I am Chinese. I could speak Igbo language and no Chinese.
But that’s not the point. You could say I’m an ‘Aba boy’. I was born and bred in Aba
before I started moving out to other states. I have been to Port Harcourt,
Owerri, Enugu, Benue, Kogi, Kaduna, Calabar, Abuja, Lagos, Nassarawa, Jos,
Anambra, and Uyo and spent considerable amount of time in all these locations
to know a little about the people in them.
NIGERIA
IS NOT A BAD COUNTRY, NIGERIA HAS BAD PEOPLE.
No I’m not saying
everyone is bad but I have had well enough experience to know so.
Let’s start from birth, I would tell you the truth.
Sometimes I wish I’m fully Nigerian, some of the things I describe here
wouldn’t have happened. Nevertheless, about now I’m 6 ft. tall, light skinned
and long curly hair.
Since I knew myself or rather as far back as I can thread
on memory lane, I have been called a whole lot of things and names: Oyinbo,
Oyibo pepper, onye Ocha, Onye ocha nna ya di oji, Chin chong (and all other
funny sounding Chinese caricatures). Nigerians conjure all sorts of names and
with every new location comes a new name.
I cannot go to the market in peace. You have all sorts
of people and sellers calling you names of all sorts to buy from them. Some
would touch my hair or even pull and still ask, “Can I touch your hair?” I’m now used to people asking me that and
because I can’t refuse, I have an average of 10 people touching my hair daily.
Then the question that annoys the most, “Are you a Nigerian?” “No, I’m an albino.” I
don’t usually reply that but sometimes I want to because you obviously see that
I am not Nigerian, the probably right question is, “Where are you from?” For people I meet personally, I tolerate
answering but for those on social media, I tell them, “I’m from Heaven.” It gets more annoying as some then ask, “What are you doing here?” I don’t
hesitate to reply, “I came to plant cassava.” And they laugh.
I’m basically telling you experience with individuals,
I would still move on to family, organization and the state at large.
Another experience is CHEATING THE OYINBO MAN. So I am at the market one day to buy a
gadget and this dude tells the other in Igbo, “Lets cheat him, he’s a white boy, he has money.” Unfortunately for
the hoodlum, I understood him but I waited for him to finish all the cheating,
then slowly and sarcastically I replied him in Igbo, “You have seen the rabbit that strayed to your shop to be killed
right?” Then I turned and walked away gloriously. I was so filled with joy
as I turned and saw the amazement at both their faces. It’s wrong to have such
a mentality. CORRUPTION STARTS FROM SELF.
THE NIGERIAN POLICE. Due to my excessive travels, I am
opportuned to be on the road at times. Whenever we pass a police checkpoint,
the bus has to come to a halt, Why? ME! They would start asking all sorts of
random questions like stated above and I humbly reply before I am beaten or
shot down like I have seen with my very own eyes. I always have to carry some
sort of identification or my international passport to prove to them that I’m a
son of the soil.
Maybe it’s because I’m in a bus…no? Whenever we travel with
any of the cars, N200 should do the trick for no questions or less.
Nigerian Families, not all, but most live in
insecurity, fear of their own homes, talk more of their neighbors. My mom is
not exempted. GBAM!!! A blow came to my back one fateful night from my mom, “Why didn’t you lock all the windows and the
doors?” “Mummy I locked them!” “But the net is open! Is it locked when the net
is open?” Actually yes it was but she was scared of her own home.
So many
superstitions exist- don’t flog a child with a broom, witches that fly in all
forms, don’t eat the head of a pawpaw, don’t jump over someone lying or sitting
down, the gizzard is not meant for you and so many others. Trust African
parents to discipline…they are masters. They could hit you with the nearest
most painful object.
The laptop is a better choice to a TV remote to throw
on you if they were both in the same distance. All sorts of punishments exist, frog
jump, pick-pin, we even invented the crouching tiger, pepper to your eyes (I
had that twice)… many items to use in caning- the superstitious broom, cane,
wire, belt, tree twigs, plank, just so many of them.
As for the state, that’s where the major problems lie.
But truth be told, the hierarchy of such problems begin with the individual. I
remember being in Aba during the kidnapping era. We had to escape to Owerri for
a while till the amnesty treaty.
Well, I have so many stories but I’ll stop here with
this words …
NIGERIA IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE
WITH BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE, CHANGE YOURSELF: CHANGE NIGERIA.
Chen Emmanuel
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