First it was city women with small breasts and butts using concoctions to enlarge their busts and behinds, or wearing enhancers to create the impression they had bigger ‘assets.’
Now men in Nairobi have been bitten by the ‘bigger is better’ bug. Just having a fuel guzzler, palatial home and expansive parcels of land is no longer enough. The real man now also has to pack a ‘bazooka’ in his boxers.
It is the ultimate, it seems, to be super endowed with roaring horse power fuelled by the ‘blue pill.’ This is the age of the joystick enlarger.
But for a 26-year-old man, the desire to have a formidable firearm ended at Kenyatta National Hospital where medics tried to save whatever remained of his ‘tools of trade’ after his manhood got tangled up in an enlargement device.
The patient cannot be named due to doctor-patient confidentiality, but he consented to his case being used as a medical case study in the October 2015 issue of the International Journal of Surgery in which local doctors Faraj Alkizim, Daniel Kanyata, Joseph Githaiga and Joseph Oliech described how they managed to pull off a ring that had ‘choked’ the joystick of the patient in an article titled Tight Affair, for more than 12 hours.
The International Journal of Surgery notes that Kenyatta National Hospital admitted the 26-year-old male patient who was presented to the casualty department from a peripheral facility after he “complained of inability to remove a penile ring, penile pain and inability to pass urine.”
According to the doctors, the penile ring had been inserted the previous evening at 7pm as part of a penile enlargement kit the patient had bought.
The kit had instructions on how to place the ring around the joystick for three hours every two weeks. He had previously successfully removed it as he followed the enlargement regimen. The doctors said that the delay to seek medical help led to gradual enlargement of the joystick with darkening of the glans. He was also unable to urinate and had developed abdominal pain.
“An attempt to remove or cut the ring in a minor theatre was unsuccessful as the ring was too thick for the available cutters,” notes the doctors in the journal. They explained that, “A sharp prick with a blade was made on the joystick. About 100 ml of clotted, dark venous blood was milked out. This enabled a decrease in the penile circumference and nylon tape was slipped underneath the ring.”
After an hour of repeatedly slipping the nylon tape under the ring, wrapping the distal end tightly around the joystick, and pulling the proximal end of the nylon tape in a circumferential manner, the doctors were able to slip the ring off the joystick.
It was quite a lesson for the local jogoo who yearned to crow the loudest and send hens scampering in his hood.
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