“There’s a common misconception that
people think that women get immediately wet just as men can almost
immediately get hard,” says Wendy Strgar, author of Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy.
“Even after a woman starts getting wet, that doesn’t necessarily mean
she’s ready for penetration. Women’s arousal starts in the brain, which
is why men should consider ‘setting the mood’ far in advance of sexual
play.”
So how do you ensure that she has the
best experience in the bedroom and that her body reaps the full
benefits? Here, women share the real things that get them wet:
1. Talk To Her
Communication is the arguably one of the
most important foundations of a relationship, and that extends to more
than just friendly banter and debates. Many studies and recent research
indicate that having an open, healthy conversation about your sex life —
both out of and in the bedroom — will benefit both you and your partner
in the long run. Feeling comfortable enough to talk dirty
and express how you like it (and where you like it) shows your
girlfriend how committed you are to a healthy sexual dialogue. Lucy, a
28-year-old in London, says when her and her boyfriend are really going
at it, she loves when he whispers into her ear something he enjoys doing
or taunts her. It instantly makes her more turned on.
2. Don’t Be Afraid Of Her Body
“So many guys start by touching me and
when I make any sort of noise, they push harder or stop and try to have
sex right away, and it’s a big turn off,” says Chicago-based
29-year-old, Rebecca. “I wish men would take more time to listen and
learn how to touch me down there instead of rushing it to get to sex.”
It’s estimated that most men — sorry to break it to you — have no idea
how to handle the female clitoris,
even though it should be the first priority during touching, oral and
vaginal sex. Next time you’re starting to venture South, ask your girl
to show you exactly what she likes, ask questions and be receptive to
feedback. She’ll thank you — many times over.
3. Make Eye Contact
Though simply looking lovingly into her
eyes isn’t going to make her instantly get wet, the lesson here is
making intimacy a priority in your relationship and your sex life.
“Sometimes while we’re having sex, my boyfriend will stop, kiss me
really hard and look me directly into the eyes as he continues,”
27-year-old Nicole from Boston says. “There’s something so intense when
he does it and it makes me want to pull him even deeper inside of me.”
While this is an easy feat in missionary,
consider adding this layer of connection while doing it doggy by asking
her to look at you and kissing her with intensely. This shows her how
much you’re invested in not only getting each other off, but making sure
you’re working as a team and your passion is strong.
4. Don’t Be Quiet
Just like you enjoy hearing her moans
and groans during sex, your girlfriend gets turned on when you respond
to her movements and techniques too. “It drives me crazy when a guy is
quiet in bed! Especially when I’m working hard to make sure he’s happy,”
Kayla, 25, from Miami says. “When I do hear a guy really getting into
it, it makes me turned on and more into giving him what he wants.”
Though you might be conditioned to keep it quiet (thanks to early days
of masturbating in your childhood bedroom) it’s actually
counterproductive to getting your girl excited. You don’t need to
scream, but respond to what she’s doing.
5. Change Up The Speed
Often what makes sex exciting is not
knowing what to expect. “I like monotonous 10-minute sex” — said no one
ever. When you’re having sex with someone over a long period of time,
it’s not only important to vary positions, but speed too. Kristin, a
31-year-old from Los Angeles says that her boyfriend consistently gets
her wet by keeping her guessing: “He’ll start off slow and then really
go deep and intense, then back to slow,” she described. “I never know
how it’ll go or how we’ll switch positions or speed, it keeps me
invested and turned on.”
Source: Ask Men
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